Sari-sari :
1. Street Vendor: 'Bili na kayo ng Relo!!! Gold Watch ito!!! Pag
namuti, White Gold!!! Pag huminto, Stop Watch!!!
2. GF: Hu...hu...hu. ..Bakit natin ginawa ito? Hindi na ako Virgin at
dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!!!
BF: Ano? Isang beses lang ah!!!
GF: Bakit...Hindi na ba natin ulitin mamaya???
3. Couple Talking:
Wife: Hon...Paki fix naman ilaw natin sa labas.
Husband: Hellooo...Electrici an ba ako???
Wife: Eh di paki gawa na lang hagdan natin.
Husband: Hellooo...Karpinter o ba ako???
Umalis si Husband...Pagbalik gawa na lahat
ng sira sa bahay. Tinanong nya si Wife kung
sino gumawa ng trabaho.
Wife: Kasi kanina...A man saw me
crying...sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay,
so he offered to help in exchange of
either sex or bake ako ng cake.
Husband: So...pinag bake mo siya ng cake???
Wife: Helloooo...Baker ba ako???
4. Husband: Lagi na lang tayo away...Mag hiwalay na lang tayo!!!
Wife: Sige...mag hati tayo ng mga anak!!!
Husband: Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!
Wife: Sus!!! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!!!
5. In Front of NURSERY WINDOW
Friend: Pare... pag laki ng anak mo...am sure magaling sya
mag drive.
Ama: Bakit Pare...malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi... Kasi kamukha nya ang Driver nyo.
6. Husband came home from Chruch...suddenly lifted his wife and
carried her.
Wife: Why??? Did the Pastor told you to be romantic like this???
Husband: No!!! he told me to carry my cross!!!
7. Friend: Wow Pare...ganda ng sapatos mo ah.
Husband: Oo...Surprise gift ng Kumare mo yan.
Friend: Surprise??? Bakit...Ano okasyon?
Husband: Wala...Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin yan
kagabi.
8. HEALTH ADVISORY
'Beer contains female hormones and can turn men into women.'
After 5 Pints...Men becomes
talkative... unreasonable. ..irritable. ..cry for nothing...and urinate
while sitting.'
9. Wife: I'm warning you!!! Parating na Husband ko in one Hour!
Handsome Visitor: Wala naman akong ginagawang masama ah?
Wife: Kaya nga!!! Kung may balak ka...Gawin mo na!!!
10. Wife: Himala!!! Aga mong umuwi ngayon!!!
Husband: Sunod ko lang utos ng Boss ko. Sabi nya 'GO TO
HELL' kaya ito uwi agad ako!!!
11. Wife: Labs...may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na
to...Let's make Love.
Husband: Heh!!! Tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising
bukas...buti ikaw hindi na.
12. Population Policies of the Countries
China: Stop at 1 child.
Singapore: Stop at 2 child.
Philippines: Stop at 4 am.
13. Russian: We're first in the Space.
USA: We're first in the Moon.
Erap: We'll be the first in the Sun.
USA: You can't go there...you' ll be burn.
Erap: We're not stupid...We' ll go there at night.
14. Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag NAUTOT?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: Not me.
;D ;D ;D
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